…I wish I could hate you.
You didn’t purposefully do anything to lose the game–that would have been silly. You were just nervous–I would have been too.
But, oh, Dan Uggla.
If you didn’t have those huge doe eyes, I would hate you. But I can’t. I wish I could hate you like I hate Aaron Rowand for flying out in the bottom of the ninth with two outs and bases loaded last ASG–yeah, I remember crap like that. I hold grudges, and I will until the National League wins another All-Star Game (yeah, right).
But those eyes… they cut me to the core.
So I’ll simply settle for feeling really, really sorry for you and wanting to adopt your adorable child. And maybe someday I’ll meet you and give you a hug. That would be fun!